


We shouldn't

by Jonah_Smith_907



Series: Meet Matt Murdock [2]
Category: Daredevil (TV), The Punisher (TV 2017)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Foggy and Matt are still not so great, M/M, No Smut, Panic Attack, a little angsty maybe?, but Frank's cool about it, i guess, idek, it's not that bad, just one major panic attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 09:55:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14399658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jonah_Smith_907/pseuds/Jonah_Smith_907
Summary: Frank decides to visit Matt at the office, because he is the only Matt that fits the profile of Daredevil. Foggy and Karen are shocked. Matt is pissed.And Frank comes back. A little panic, a little comfort, a little talking.God, I'm such a Drama Queen, honestly.





	We shouldn't

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kuma_Kaa_Chan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kuma_Kaa_Chan/gifts).



> Sorry I didn't upload for so long but we got like a lot of shit going on in school at the moment. You know, with graduating and all
> 
> Also I was kind of too depressed to convince myself to move my ass in front of my laptop and write.

It wasn't until a week later, that Matt saw Frank again, although it wasn't how he would have expected it, but very much different and very much more concerning.

 

Matt was having a good day at the office. He didn't have any new bruises that showed and therefore he didn't have to answer to any uncomfortable questions from Karen or disapprovingly concerned looks from Foggy.

They had real clients who paid real money, so now the lawyer was peacefully sitting at his desk, going through some files. 

That changed, when their office door was slammed opened without any kind of warning. Matt jumped in surprise, head snapping up, ready to fight. Then he caught the smell of the person that had entered and wished they'd just stayed out, because the mix between gunpowder, blood and dog was unmistakeable.

It was Frank. Frank Castle. Frank Castle, the Punisher. And he was _inside_ of Nelson  & Murdock. No wonder then, that Karen's heartbeat spiked and adrenaline shot through her body when she realized who it was that was standing before her. 

Matt cursed under his breath, got up and walked out of his office, every muscle of his body tense, ready to fight, yet he was determined not to let it show. He even made an effort not to clench his cane like his life depended on it, which he usually did when he felt anxious or angry – or threatened.

Without saying a word, he more or less stormed towards Frank – to hell with calm, goddamn it - grabbed him by his wrist and pulled him out of the door, down the stairs, out on the street and around a corner into an alley, and all that with not more than a _nod_ to Karen. That would end in a hundred questions, he could already see it coming. And possibly an argument with Foggy. 

Just terrific.

“What the hell were you thinking?!”, he finally snapped, when they were safe from people's views. 

Although Matt couldn't _see_ it, he could definitely _hear_ , how offended Frank managed to look. That bastard even raised an eyebrow, as if he was not at all aware of his obvious guilt. Of anything. 

“Why? What's the matter now?” He took a small step back. “I was just gonna ask something. But now I think you already knew that, huh?”

Matt did his best not to look as caught off guard as he actually was, and hid his surprise with an immediate response: “You can't just walk into our office like that! You are the Punisher and everyone knows it! You are constituting a public danger, shooting people just like that!”

“Oh, so you wanna go there? Again?!” Frank cracked a smile when he saw the little flinch, running through the lawyer's body. “What, you thought I was that stupid?” He let out a quiet chuckle. “Haven't seen a jawline like yours in a very long time. And the way you hold yourself. Like a fighter. Recognized you the second you stormed out of your little office.”

“What do you want then?!”, Matt growled. “No, actually? Scratch that! How'd you find me?!”

“There ain't that many Matts in Hell's Kitchen. And you were the only one with the right profile to fit Daredevil's profile so-”

“So you figured you'd just … what, stop by and say hi? Maybe murder a few people while you're at it? What? What do you want Frank??! What do you want from me?”

A devilish grin appeared on Frank's face as he, innocently as possible said: “Just checking in.” After that he turned around, walked right out of the alley and was gone within seconds. 

Matt groaned in frustration and in an outburst of short-lived anger, he threw his cane against the next wall. He ran one hand through his hair, while the other was on his hip, as he tried to collect himself, correcting his tie with one short motion. 

“Damn it!”, he huffed. After another minute he returned to his office, well aware of the questions that would be facing him. 

 

“What the hell was that, Matt?!”, Foggy yelled. “Am I blind, too, or was that the fricking Punisher?! The Punisher the whole city is looking for?!”

“It's … it's complicated.”, Matt tried to calm the other one down, but neither him, nor Karen were having it.

“What's that supposed to mean?! He nearly killed me in that hospital! He's a nutjob who enjoys the deaths and the suffering of other people! And what do you do? You act like you _know_ him, act like he wasn't a psychopath!”

“That is not what – I knew what I was doing, okay?”

“Karen's right. You shouldn't have done what you did. You just took off with a dangerous man. We didn't know where you were, we didn't know whether he'd let you live or not! We were worried! We should have called the police!” But they hadn't. 

And Matt knew why they hadn't; because Foggy must have talked Karen out of it. Because Foggy knew. Because Foggy was very well aware of the questions that would ensue and that the police would have gotten suspicious. There would have been way too much trouble for this call to be worth it. 

“I'm sorry.”, he eventually said, after he took a couple deep breaths. He hated lying. Especially to them. To his friends. His only friends. But of course he couldn't tell them the truth either. Foggy didn't even want to hear it and Karen would not like it very much. 

So he didn't. Didn't say anything. Instead he went back into his office, after they had been standing around awkwardly for a few minutes without either of them saying a word, until he had nodded slightly and retreated. And now he was trying to concentrate on his work, but it was hard. His thoughts kept wandering off to Frank – pretty reasonable though, considering their weird … acquaintance. 

Maybe he would have left early this night, but the thought of having to walk past the other two, their judging gazes lingering on his back as he fled out the door was enough to make him stay put. 

 

So now it was about 9:30 in the evening, Karen and Foggy had just left – they hadn't really talked any more that day, except for business stuff- and now he was sitting alone in the dark office. 

He had turned off the lights as soon as they had stepped out of the building. He had once forgotten to do so and Foggy had laughed at him so hard he nearly peed his pants, so now he always switched everything off after the others left. 

Of course originally he had planned to leave about this time, too, but now he couldn't bring himself to get up just yet. Instead he let out a quiet groan and let his head fall down until his forehead hit the cool surface of his desk. 

“I'm so done.”, he sighed and tried to suppress a dry sob. It did not work very well. 

“Rough day, huh?”, a voice suddenly spoke up from the door of Matt's office. “Must be tough, sitting at that desk all day.”

Matt flinched in surprise and proceeded that action by jumping to his feet and stumbling backwards against the closest wall. And that was not what was supposed to happen! He should go into fight-mode, should find out who the hell that was, innocently leaning against the doorframe. 

Oh, but of course he knew. The smell alone was enough for recognition. Though the most terrifying thing about this whole situation was, that Matt hadn't heard the other one coming. Hadn't heard a window creak or a door open. That was bad. 

“... what the hell are you doing here?”, he finally panted. He didn't know why, but suddenly the air in the room was getting less, but he couldn't worry about that right now. More important things to take care of. “How did you get in?!” Sure, the office door itself wasn't locked, but the main door of the building should be. Always was at this time.

“I picked the doorlock.”, Frank replied calmly, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. “And what the hell are _you_ doing _there_?”, he added. “Don't look too good if you ask me.”

“What are you talking about?” Perhaps he should take the matter of lacking oxygen more serious, as breathing got more difficult by the second. And if that wasn't enough already, now gravity seemed to shift, so that he had to use all of his strength to stand up without falling sideways. “I just didn't … didn't know you were there. Standing there.”

“Mhm.” Frank frowned. Then he shook his head and said: “I looked you up after I left this afternoon.”

“Yeah? And what did you … what did you find out?” He was currently praying for a chair, but he was too anxious to go back to his, and also he didn't want to show any weakness to Frank, who was a murderer and in his office and _why the hell were they not fighting, although his chest hurt like hell and why was Matt not defending himself and WHERE THE HELL DID THE FUCKING AIR GO??_

“You're a lawyer; you like to dress up at night and you are _blind_.” He waited a few seconds, in case Matt wanted to say something to that, but he didn't, so Frank continued: “And I got very curious at that. I mean I have read about the Fisk-case. Seen some footage of some of your other cases. Pretty impressive, really. But it left a question.”

“I swear to god, if you – you ask why I'm – doing this, I'll punch you!”, the lawyer wheezed, while still trying to get a hold of himself. He was shaking by now, sweat was streaming down his body and there was this deep feeling of terror in his guts, that he wished he could just cut out.

“I don't think so. You look like you're about to fall over.” Frank took a step forward, to see what was going on with Matt – the lights were still out – but the other man flinched away as soon as he started moving, so he quickly raised his hands in a defensive gesture. “You see, I think I know what's happening here right now.”

Matt was gonna huff an annoyed 'oh yeah?' but he _didn't_ know what was happening to him, so maybe a second opinion wasn't the worst thing right now; also he didn't have enough air in his lungs left to form any more words. So he might as well let his usually so carefully constructed facade slip, he thought, as he slowly slid down the wall until he was sitting on the floor, knees pulled to his chest with his arms folded on top of them and his face buried in the crook of his elbow.

“Was already waiting for that to happen.”, Frank said and stepped closer, until he could crouch down next to the other man. “Listen, you are having a panic attack. Seen it before, ain't anything to be ashamed of, just in case you're wondering.” He cleared his throat before he kept talking: “And I know we're not exactly friends and everything, but I'm not here to kill you or to even hurt you. So I'll just help you out here a little.” Matt didn't give much of a response, he just lifted his head up and leaned it back against the wall, while gripping his knees with every ounce of strength he had left. “I need you to breath now, Red.”, Frank urged. “In – 2 – 3 – 4 and out – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8. And again. In – 2 – 3 -”

Together they repeated the cycle, until the shaking stopped. Then Frank stopped counting, but he kept a close eye on his opposite, who was still focussing on his breathing. 

Eventually Matt let out a shaky sigh and wiped with one hand over his face. For a few seconds there was silence in the small room. Then, without a word, the lawyer got up, leaving the Punisher on the floor, and walked to the window, as if he was looking outside. 

In reality he was closely listening to the other man, while trying to figure out what the hell just had happened. They were enemies. They'd had the biggest fight ever on that rooftop! Frank had shot him in the head! Frank had killed people and wasn't gonna stop any time soon! And now he was all talky? Polite and helping? What the hell. _And_ he had broken in! 

Why was he even here?

“Why are you here, Frank?”

“Like I said, I was curious.”, he answered, got up as well and joined the other man at the window, looking out next to him. 

“You said you had a question to ask. Ask.” It was weird, talking like that. They weren't supposed to just peacefully stand next to each other and _talk_ , like normal people. They were two vigilantes, who _fought_ against each other. And yet, Frank had helped Matt and Matt had let him. Though he was still relatively cold towards him, keeping his voice carefully controlled. 

“I was gonna ask how a blind lawyer manages to become a ninja.” He shortly paused. “But now I think I shouldn't ask.”

“I was trained. When I was just a kid and I came to an orphanage. I was trained. But I never _wanted_ to fight. At some point I just couldn't stand by and listen to all the suffer, knowing I could do something against it.” Matt turned to Frank. “But I will never kill. Not matter what.”

“I'll take that as … what, critique?”

Matt nodded. “Yeah, something like that.” He let out a quiet sigh. “Listen, I'm thankful for your help earlier. But we really shouldn't make a habit of this.”

“... Of what?”

“Meeting. Especially in private. Because I don't agree with the way you … work. And that won't change. Maybe you have a reason for it. Maybe even a good one. But that's not gonna change the fact that I don't like it.”

“So you think I shouldn't invade your private life?” Frank nodded thoughtfully. “Alright, I'll keep that in mind.” If Matt hadn't been blind and he hadn't still been recovering from his panic attack, he might have picked up on the slight grin in Frank's voice. 

But like this he truly thought Frank would leave him alone now.

Never had he been so wrong.


End file.
